Artistic Truth

Just an old e-mail of mine to the friends - found it in archives - nothing political (almost, at least not on the surface). I thought I had better preserve it on the enormous anti-terrorist Google hard drives, before I lost it on my KGB' or Russian Mafia 's (as defined by the Illustrious "Scientists" of Oz(-stralia) ) hard drives :))

Dated 22.07.2008

Just for fun - don't take it (too) seriously. Since quasi-philosophical topics are discussed in these e-mail circles occasionally, I want to contribute. This is a true story. Last Thursday I upset a visiting American professor (Mrs.(Prof) F.., Russian literature and honorable something somewhere important ). She was giving a lecture at ANU entitled "Lies and Truth in Soviet Literature during Khrushev and Brezhnev periods". Since it was after 5 pm I went there - I like foreigners who know about Russians and Soviets more than they know/knew about themselves. Of course, she was talking about "Gulag" literature mostly and about the extend such publications were permitted/forbidden at different times.The professor actually surprised me with her quite good knowledge and mostly correct & carefully balanced interpretations - I expected much worse . So during the question/discussion time I decided to encourage her good presentation by contributing to the topic and her lecture. I told her that her lecture could benefit from a definition of "lie" and "truth" in the context. For example, "lie" in the literature or any publication can be defined as something contrary to the real events.The Soviet officials actually not frequently lied directly - mostly by omission. But the "truth" in the same (literary or almost any other social) context is actually a balance between publicized shortcomings of the society and its "positive" atonements". In this sense to say that there was more or less truth in the literature simply means that comparatively more or less negative information was or was not published. Just this - more or less "bad" things (compare to "good") and no more than that. Nothing to do with the "truth" in the usual meaning; such "truth" can be numerically defined as a ratio of (critical content) to (total). Because during her lecture the professor used the word "truth" without definition - and we all know that "truth" is "good" - implicitly (and she actually said that) the more truth is better. Now, what would we call a nation which can read and write *only* negative things about itself? The answer :" suicidal". That's why no "western" nation ever wrote mostly (or almost any) bad things about themselves..... And, by the way, how can we describe the motives of a nation which puts enormous money and effort to encourage some other nation to commit the suicide? (* that last bit I did not actually say - the professor was visibly upset before that - them, Anglo-Saxon professors, don't like us, Russians (by accent at least) to be too clever - not on public, that is *) and I thought that I'd rather cut it short - I was going to encourage her further forays into Russian literature after all.. *)

I remembered about this insignificant episode when I was thinking why it is so difficult (for me) to make a good portrait photos. The answer is simple - photography is an art, just as (Russian/Soviet) literature is (no comments about Socialistic realism!). Because of this, there cannot be "absolute" or even "objective" truth on the photo - it is always a balance between ugly or unpleasant and beautiful. Any real person's face has both. Where the balance point will be depends on photographer's intentions, some subjective feelings of what is "right" and of course, on the skills - which are further defined as an ability to use camera, light and model to put the balance the way he wants it. For an illustration just look at any paparazzi photos of celebrities in woman's magazines...(or at some of mine:)). As a physicist and more or less experimentalist, I "run" the equipment (camera) and expect it to produce correct results. "Truth" in other words. I am making the same mistake as that American professor...Was it boring?

A CULTURAL TEST (or What Washington Has Done?)

Before taking the test, you will need to read the story below.

STORY

For a while already you have been on the road searching for better places to live. But right now you are in the middle of a swamp & you don't know the safe way out. On the other side there is a Man, with whom you were friends once, but after that had come to a disagreement – mostly about the ways you choose to walk.

Still you trusted him enough to follow his advice - at the crossroad not far away you took the road he recommended. You knew that he had walked that way. But here you are now - in the middle of a swamp, asking the man to tell you where to go next. He says that you should jump onto the patch of moss not a meter away. The patch looks dangerous to you, but he says it is all right. He says it is safe.

You jump and ...start drowning. It seems the more you move the firmer the swamp holds you and pulls down. You scream for help, you wave your arms - sure, the man is not your friend, but he will help - after all it is because of him you are where you are. It does not take much right now – just a stretched hand will do.. The man waves his hand, smiles and then turns his back to you, he does not even look in your direction now - he just takes out his mobile phone. You can hear that he is not talking to the emergency , no - he calls his solicitor to arrange disposal of your estate in the event of your apparently imminent death....

Somehow you managed to pull yourself out. Just barely, all by yourself. It took a long time, but you did it. Nobody helped – worse, the people you knew before simply looked, laughed and pointed at you saying “How stupid one must be to get into this bog! It must be in the genes.”

Just as you were on the solid ground, a street bum, unmistakenly a Georgian, runs up to you trying to spit into your face. You notice that while running, the bum constantly turns and looks back at the Man. The Man smiles and nods encouragingly. Tired as you were, you still found enough strength to kick the bum's arse few times. You were surprised to hear that while you were teaching the bum manners, the Man was shouting his support for the bum and it seems even threatened you. You finished with the bum and looked around. Not far away, in fact very close, you can see some of your realtives and some people you knew in the past. They were rather friendly then and you though they were your friends. You helped some of them when they were in trouble - sometimes you had to tighten your belt to do so. Now you see that they all wear military uniforms and have weapons supplied by the Man. They are not friendly anymore. Even the relatives. In fact, the most audacious of them - your cousins -show you their middle fingers, shouting obscenities – they do it, apparently, with the encouragement of the Man.

You recognize your own twin brother in the crowd. For the reasons you have never been able to understand, he always got angry when his capital city was called the mother of all your cities. He does not wear the uniform – yet, but he stays close to the Man and he tries to kiss the Man's ….(hand). The Man nods, smiles and then points in your direction. Your brother angrily shooks his fist, shouts few threats, adds something about not being your realtive anymore and then turns back to the Man, seeking his approval. The Man pats your brother's head and gives him a candy. You feel bad that your own brother is being treated as a dog.

You sit down and think. You look at the shortcut which leads back to the road you traveled before. It is right here. Few steps and you are on your own way. There, at least your mistakes will be your own fault. You know where the old road goes. In fact, you think that it goes to the same place where the Man travels by his way; just a different route - longer, but safer – you know what to expect there and you don't need anybody's advice. In front of you, you see still the same way the Man recommended – you don’t know what else you will find traveling there... You are thinking.

Suddenly you feel a gust of cold wind, the sun disappears behind the dark, black clouds and then it starts raining. Over there, not far away where your old road is, it is quiet and sunny. But it pours buckets where you are now and you cannot see any shelter. You are feeling cold. And alone. You are thinking – about building a shelter, about, maybe, just walking back to that other road, about the Man and about yourself….

Suddenly a messenger from the Man approaches you. She smiles the patent Man’s smile, very sincere smile that had always won your heart in the past – you were never able to smile like that. She says “It is raining cats and dogs here, isn't it? Why don’t we build a shelter together? The Man says you and him are the old pals. Here it is – take it – it is a magical button – we press it together and the magic will take care of our past problems.”

You look at the button. It is big and red. It is does not look magic. There is a text on both sides of the button. On one side it says “Reset”, on the other - “Overload” in transliterated language of your ancestors. You look at the lady the Man sent and you say “ I am honored. But there is a mistake – the other side says “Overcharge” .

And you think : “I lied to help her to save face - I don't know why I did that, perhaps I like to think that even the Man and his people can be good. And perhaps, I hope that the Man is smart enough to think that when they overcharge someone in the local grocery shop, the shop owner always apologizes. Not to mention that he gives the refund…”

Test questions: choose one answer only.

Cultural question #1.

The Man (with the mobile phone) is:

(1) your friend

(2) your enemy

(3) just a businessman “as usual”.

Cultural question #2.

When you followed the Man's advice, you were :

(1)  A naïve fool

(2) A wise and careful man, responsible for the lives of many millions people?

(3)  Neither – perhaps, “Ivanushka-durachok” ? (Rus.folk)

Cultural question #3

After all that you have learned about the Man, can you trust him?

(1) Yes

(2) No

(3) Neither

Cultural question #4.

Should you turn back to the road you were going before – now is a good time.

(1) Yes

(2) No

(3) Neither – stay where you are …and wait – for another Man to tell you where to go.

Cultural question #5.

Should you help the Man with building a shelter? It is a dangerous job for you and the shelter is designed by the Man . Unlike the Man, you don't really need it right now.

(1)  Yes (you think you are smarter than him ).

(2)    No (you think you are stronger than him ).

(3)  Neither  (you are a wise man). 

(4) Is there another answer?  Say, "Yes, but..." ? Yes, there is.  But it depends entirely on the answer to the question #1.

-------------------------------

Finished? Congratulations! It was outstanding. No matter what you have answered, you did much more than any American politician of modern days - you have looked at the US policies as Russians do.

What Sestanovich Has Done?

REVIEW of Stephen Sestanovich, What RUSSIA HAS DONE,  Foreign Affairs. New York: Nov/Dec 2008. Vol. 87, Iss. 6; pg. 12, 17 pgs

So, who are we dealing with here? Ahh....the former Russian Ambassador "at large", CFR “top Russian expert“  http://www.cfr.org/publication/16932/russiageorgia_conflict.html?breadcrumb=%2Fbios%2F7485%2Fstephen_sestanovich 

Looks like one of the “we all are Georgians now”. Definitely not a friend of Russia. Not even a calm observer - a warrior type – of those who always need an enemy or always know where to find one. Even in his new article Sestanovich lists the enemies by names  Nikolas Gvosdev, Robert Blackwill, Dimitri Simes. Perhaps, also Kissinger, Shultz, William Perry and Sam Nunn whom he ridicules.

In general, the article discusses not what Russia has done, but what the US should do with (or rather - against) Russia in the future. In a simplified form, Sestanovich policy recommnedation is "contaitment"  and "push-back". He does not consider developing cooperation with Russia in any area a priority task for the future US government. Let's look at Sestanovich's arguments.

THE REALISM MOMENT

I cannot see anything wrong with someone being a realist. Especialy in politics. Apparently Sestanovich does - he does not approve of "reaslists" at all and devotes a good third of his writing to argue against hat he calls "realist" views.

He does not believe as “realists” do, that “..Washington should take care not to encroach on Russia’s hoped for “sphere of influence”. 

It also appears that Sestanovich does not think that “regularly hectoring Moscow about democracy, recklessly encouraging Georgia and Ukraine to seek membership in NATO, attempting to install ballistic missile defenses in eastern Europe, challenging Russia's energy dominance in Central Asia and the Caucasus, recognizing Kosovo's independence”  was the wrong  thing to do and was not  “worth the bad blood, and now the bloodshed”. 

The “realists’” arguments - which are  broadly defined as that the Russians must be able to see that the US-Russia relations are not a  one-way  traffic to benefit Washington -  are summarily dismissed – Sestanovich states that Russia should have been  grateful for incredible “concessions” it received from the US “.. Bush had offered Putin a new strategic arms treaty .., shifted U.S. policy on Chechnya .., recognized Russia as a market economy.., supported Russia's accession to the WorldTrade Organization, agreed to have Russia chair the G-8.., initiated a multibillion-dollar international version of the Nunn-Lugar program ..to help dismantle weapons of mass destruction .., and upgraded Russia's ties to NATO so that Russia's representatives could participate on a more equal footing in deliberations on European security. As payoffs go, this was not bad ..” 

Indeed – the payoffs for the US were not bad. What about Russia? Should Russians be excited about meaningless “recognition” of the empirical fact that it was a market economy,  a purely nominal chair in G-8 and a permission to be present only at the meetings of  a separate, specially created NATO committee, whose single purpose was apparently to make the Russians think that their opinion  counts? Or maybe the Russians should be happy when under WTO rules a flood of cheap, subsidized by more powerful economies food products starts killing their own just beginning to recover agriculture? Or , say car or aircraft building industry? Sure, the knowledge that Russian highly enriched (high purity) nuclear material from  the dismantled Soviet warheads now generates 10% of American electricity,  makes the Russians very excited and thankful for the honor –  who cares that the Russians  haven't seen much of the dollars being collected even now by American power-generating companies? Certainly not Sestanovich , who apparently believes that a new Strategic Arms Treaty will benefit the Russians, but not the US. Maybe there is a monetary value to the generous agreement of the US to mind its own business and  for once do not lecture Russia how to solve its internal problems, for example in Chechnya? Especially, if there was a “fair” exchange – that Russia would not object to the US military excesses in its “revenge” to Al Qaeda?  Are these all American “gifts” to the Russians? Well, according to the article – yes. And Sestanovich believes that it demonstrated American generosity. Here we have, perhaps, a cultural or language problem – it appears that in Sestanovich's vocabulary  the word “concession” means just another way to make money – in this case at the expense of the recipient.

Sestanovich is rightfully convinced that “..what changed the [Russia-US] relationship far more than any disagreements themselves was a shift in the way Russian leaders understood them…”. 

I cannot agree more. He only forgets to add that the Russians were naïve enough to believe in a goodwill of the US and did not initially see the US “friendship” as an (almost successful) attempt of  plain robbery.

Sestanovich believes that Russians are no longer interested in pursuing  “common interests” and “strategic compatibility” with the US but  he totally misses the fact that the Russians simply are not interested in pursuing the US interest at Russian expense .

THE RETURN OF ARMS CONTROL 

In terms of arms control Sestanovich’s is thoroughly against the total ban on nuclear weapons and he  is highly ironic about  Kissinger , Shultz, William Perry and Sam Nunn because of their support of total nuclear ban. In this, perhaps, Sestanovich’s  view will coincide with Russians’, who by now should have understood that their nuclear force is, perhaps, the only thing which protects the Russian national interests (and it appears – resources) against American expansion or the fact, using cited in the article Baluevsky “that U.S. nuclear policies reflect a "drive for strategic domination.".

To be fair, Sestanovich’s views on total nuclear ban have some logic to them - a sort of “military Friedmanism”. He writes:”.. above all, the recognition that the treaties that work best are those that allow each side maximum flexibility in implementation.” 

Friedman's libertarianism applied to nuclear weapons is perhaps an interesting theoretical concept, but considering the cost of failure, it is unlikely that anyone would want to test it on practice..

Sestanovich has a definitely valid point, offering that “..On missile defense, an understanding could be easily reached that offered Russia concrete and binding commitments that U.S. deployment plans would not be fully implemented if the threat from Iran did not grow; for its part, Moscow would not try to block them if the threat did grow.”

This is perhaps the first solid and realistic proposal by Sestanovich. It is so simple and non-offensive to both sides that one can only wonder why it had not been voiced by Washington a long time ago. Perhaps, they had their reasons.

DEMOCRACY AFTER BUSH

Sestanovich does not like the United Russia phrase  “sovereign democracy” – perhaps, he believes that whatever occupational regime  the US installed in Iraq is a democracy and that democracy can exist in a country which is not sovereign.  Unfortunately for Sestanovich this interpretation is not the common view anywhere beyond the walls of the White House. Although, somewhat contradictory to his own criticism of “sovereign democracy” , Sestanovich scores 100% saying that “..No matter how much the next U.S. president deplores Putin's success, he cannot ignore it. Making criticism of Russian democracy a strong theme of U.S. foreign policy no longer enhances respect for either democracy or the United States in Russia. ..” and that “.. from European governments, he [Obama] will hear that the success of democracy promotion depends on de-Americanizing the brand.” 

Bravo! I do like the latter statement – it seems that even Sestanovich understands that nothing is more damaging to the idea of democracy than the current American international policy.

WHOSE SPHERE OF INFLUENCE?

Sestanovich did not understand that  “sphere of influence” was a  phrase which Kremlin used because after its numerous unsuccessful attempts to have a not-one way “dialogue” with the US, it thought Washington would be able to recognize the phrase and perhaps finally start listening. It does not look as Kremlin was wrong, though perhaps, they did not think that the phrase will stick for long time. And maybe it won't.

Sestanovich describes the US policy since the collapse of USSR as an effort to integrate post-Soviet countries into the “civilized” world. In his view, the problem was that Russia fell behind while its neighbors began to succeed. This apparently, enraged Russia and made it very aggressive- right to the point that it almost decided to take over Georgia. Although Sestanovich does mention the true source of American concern - which of course, was not the democracy - he believes “..Moscow sought to block Western pipeline projects and to close off the West's military access to air bases in Central Asia.”

Sestanovich absolutely sure that the US provided as much support to Russia as to other post-Soviet countries. If he meant foreign economics advisers, then I probably, would agree – the devastating effect of  such “help” to Russia  can  be compared only to a massive nuclear attack and I hope the experience will make the Russians think twice next time when such consulting or very generous loans, but not in-house infrastructure or industrial-base modernization “help” is offered.

And Sestanovich finally made clear what it is all about, what it is that America should fear most: “There can be no doubt that a Russia that dominated an industrial powerhouse such as Ukraine, an energy storehouse such as Kazakhstan, and the other pieces of the old Soviet Union as well would change the national security calculations of virtually all the world's leading states.” 

Which “security” are we talking about here – sure not military.. Did Russia threatened to invade anyone? Or was it  again the new American heroin - oil - that had been in Sestanovich’s mind?

But maybe not everything is lost – Sestanovich offers that the US must support Russian initiatives for a new conference on European security. He hopes that the  Russians will “..discover that such a forum, whatever its short-term propaganda value, would give other governments a chance to put Russia's conduct in the spotlight and promote principles that would make the realization of its would-be imperium harder to achieve.”

What can I say? Fair enough. Could happen. Let’s try  and see? 

And finally - What Had Sestanovich Done ?

As Russian saying goes, he put  blame from the  sick head on a healthy one. In other words, instead of assuming that there was no major fault in the US foreign policy, he would be better off thinking What Had the US Done? 

Diary of An American Boy

Now – as promised – Diary of American Boy, in (my non-native) English. But first, I will have to explain why I bothered with “translating” the original from Russian.

It is all about mirrors. Mirrors are important – they show us how we look in the eyes of the outside world. Someone can look in a mirror and immediately see that the proud and full of dignity expression he/she wears at the moment, actually looks more like a sneer of a drunken lackey not receiving his tip. Of course, there are many different sorts of mirrors in the world – not all of them are straight, that’s for sure.

I know how the West sees the Russians – I have been reading enough of western (American) fiction and newspapers and I have been watching (American) movies for quite some time already. A mirror. Not a straight one, but whatever is available. Whatever they use themselves, though it distorts the Russians and Americans very differently.

I read Russian press and watched Russian movies too and I didn’t see a trace of symmetrical reaction there. Are Americans not without flaws? Do they not deserve to see themselves in a similar kind of mirror? Perhaps, if they had one– it would help them to understand a bit more about the world we all live in and, especially, how they actually look in the eyes of that world?

And then one day I was looking up the web for a word I did not know – “pendosy” – and found this marvel – “Невниг Пендоского Потцана”. It actually looked to me more like a not very good or not completed attempt of an adult to imitate a style of a Russian teenager – at places the form obviously deviated from the generally well structured content, in other parts – it was the content not matching the form. But some observations were strikingly similar to what I myself had observed – of course, in a grotesque form, but funny, nevertheless.

So I decided to translate the text– if not for the benefit of Americans, then just for fun – to see how I manage. I also decided that I want to edit the original slightly – not to match the style of an American teenager, because I cannot possibly do it – but because the text just begged for obvious insertions and/or sometimes – corrections. So I did it. Here it is, not as good as I hoped it would be, but at least something to read for the monolingual mates – sorry, pals. The original in Russian is at the end, so the non-monolinguals can compare the two versions. Enjoy!

As a reality check - here is a piece of interview with Brzezinsky and Scowcroft

Brzezinski:  ..[..]..

Quite a few Americans entering college could not locate Great Britain on the map. They couldn't locate Iraq on the map after five years of war. Thirty percent couldn't identify the Pacific Ocean. We don't teach global history; we don't teach global geography. I think most Americans don't have the kind of sophistication that an America that inspires, and thereby leads, will have to have if it is to do what this 21st century really will demand of us.

Scowcroft: I could easily just say amen. But again, this is a part of who we are and from where we have arisen...Americans don't have to learn foreign languages. [...].

Brzezinski: They want to enjoy the good life.

Scowcroft: They want to enjoy the good life. And our political structure seems more and more to cater to the narrow interests of Americans rather than their broader interests.[..]

Brzezinski: Amen.

Scowcroft: We're the only ones who can be the guiding light.

The Brzezinski-Scowcroft conversation has been gathered into a book, "America and the World: Conversations on the Future of American Foreign Policy," published by Basic Books and the New America Foundation ,  http://www.america-russia.net/eng/geopolitics/193208145 

Diary of American Boy

04/03/2007

My name is Michael Dawn. I live in the US. My country is in the center of rotation of the Earth and the Sun. Recently I did a research project about this and I got high distinction.

Today I woke up early and immediately measured my weight. Hurray! I lost another 0.4 lbs! And now my weight is only 320 lbs . Only one month ago it was 322 lbs! Back then my Dad said that if I didn’t loose weight, I wouldn’t be able to date girls. As a matter of fact, I prefer boys, because dating girls is not cool.

Then I had my breakfast. It was a diet – corn flakes with reduced-fat milk and two toasts with jam. For a dessert I had four double hamburgers. The breakfast was fun. We had a who-farts-louder competition with my Dad. I won. Now Dad owes me $5. If he doesn’t pay up by the evening – I sue the shit out of him.

My school is way too far – almost half a mile. I’m lucky that I have a car. Today’s traffic was OK, so it took me only one hour to get to the school. Lessons were boring, as usual. For example, on American history lesson the teacher was telling us a bullshit - that America was discovered by Columbus. How could such a dork get teacher’s certificate?! Elementary logic tells you that America was discovered by us, Americans. That is why it is called America.

But Geography lesson was cool. Boy, how many awesome things happen in the world! For example, the teacher told us about this country Africa. Many years ago, in its capital, Egypt, we, Americans, built triangular skyscrapers but now there live the evil Russian mummies. Just why these Russians interfere with everything we do?

In the evening I went to a party at my friend Leslie’s house. Everyone thinks that the party was cool. There were about 40 of us. My friend Jimmy stole two bottles of beer from his father. That was clearly too much because we barfed Leslie’s pool into a stinky pot liqueur pond. Sam thinks that was because we blew couple of sticks made from what Leslie had near his swimming pool. Me, I barfed into the pool for the shear fun. Anyways, one brick for all of us is just a normal daily dose to keep the lungs trained and head clear. Hey, even my grandmother has more for breakfast every day.

04/07/2007

Today is a holiday. I wanted to sleep a bit longer, but my Dad made me play baseball on the front lawn. Actually, it was really cool – we were throwing the ball to each other from three meters for three hours in a row! Remarkable sport and very intellectual!

After lunch my Dad made us watch the President Bush’s TV address. We had a good time: we ate pop-corn and listened to the President. He was explaining why it was important for the US to bomb every undemocratic country – because when there is no democracy, people only listen to what is coming from  above and so the bombing was an ingenious way to explain to the primitive peoples what the US democratic ideals were about. I never could understand why those idiots protested when we bombed them. Because without our bombing they would never know the taste of coca-cola and hamburgers and thus they wouldn’t be able to build a true democracy. God save USA – the country which is always ready to help everyone who does not want to be helped. After watching Bush’s address, we sang “God Bless America” and wept from the full realization of our greatness and great responsibility for the mission given to every American by the God.


Today our teacher gave us exciting lesson about this remarkable discipline – Geography. He told us about a far-away undemocratic country which was called Russia. I new a lot about this savage country even without his lesson. For example, everyone knows that Russians are a cross-breed between a bear and a human, they eat birch and drink pure alcohol, live in deep burrows in taiga (which is a Russian jungle), and during their celebrations they put Kremlin on fire and dance around it. But now, after the lesson, I know about Russia much more then its inhabitants. For example, I know that in this country there are immense deposits of American oil and gas. When we need them – we will come to claim our property. There are deposits of vodka in Russia and black and red caviar  and mushrooms are mined in open pits. All this treasure is used by Russians in a truly barbarian style: they drink and eat it, thus robbing us - the future generations of Americans. Russia is a true Empire of Evil!

After the school I went to my psychoanalyst. I visit him twice a week. He gives me advice how to enjoy life. Today he taught me how to flash the toilet after use. All my life I was wondering why our toilet stinks so much. 

In the night before going to bed, I played Tetris. Cool action! I was cut on the third level, though. After that I searched porno-sites on the web - http://www.pentagon.com/ and http://www.whitehouse.com/ . Their banging is not for kids! I put a photo of Monica Lewinsky on my table and, satisfied with my day and my right hand, I went to sleep. When I grow up I want to become a President of USA and ride in White House lifts all day!

04/24/2007

On math lesson today we were learning how to count to ten. Math is very hard. Now I understand why they start teaching it only in a college. I managed to count to seven from the first try. My teacher said it was very good. 

During the lunch break Bob showed me a hand gun he borrowed from his Dad and then we decided  to see how it works on the girls. It was real fun! The girls were screaming exactly as in Friday, 13th and tried to escape, but Bob always managed to catch up and shoot a control shot into their heads. Then police arrived and took Bob with them ending all the fun… Immediately after that we were allowed to go home.

05/08/2007

Today we had an unusual history lesson. The teacher told us that exactly 28 years ago, the US troops captured Berlin and defeated Germany. Apparently, in 1958, bloody dictator Saddam Hussein, who was ruling Germany at that time, attacked London and bombed its capital Warsaw. Germans on tanks and bicycles captured Paris, Brussels, Kiev and Birobidjan. After Birobijan had fallen, the USA lost their patience and joined the war. In the beginning, the Germans were bombed in Afghanistan, then in Syria, then in Disneyland. The Germans were forced to retreat. Then American army surrounded Germany and using precision spot-target bombs, reduced to a rubble all of the Berlin and then put our proud stars-and-stripes flag on the top of Eiffel tower. Saddam Hussein was captured in Berlin’s suburbs, where he was hiding in the basement of a whorehouse. The bloody dictator was court-marshaled and then sent to serve his prison term first to Saint Helen Island and then to Guantanamo Bay. There he wrote numerous requests to CIA, asking to be publicly hanged. Eventually, all his wishes were generously granted, including the one where he asked to destroy all the evidence about the interrogation techniques used on him and his fellow prisoners. After the US victory, all the nations of the world applauded to the brave soldiers of the US and in their excitement , people were throwing to the US soldiers their most valuable possetions – during the war, of course, it was their food – mostly tomatoes and eggs. This was how the WWII came to an end and how the bloody dictators of the whole world came to understand that nobody can survive the coming of American democracy ….

Невниг пендосскава потсана

(* “pendosy” – Americans *)

3 апреля 2005 года
Меня зовут Майкл Даун. Я живу в США. Это такая страна, вокруг которой вращаются земля и солнце. Я недавно даже писал реферат на эту тему, и учитель поставил мне высший балл.Сегодня я встал рано. С утра сразу же взвесился. Ура! Я похудел еще на 200 граммов. И теперь мой вес составляет всего 145 кг. А ведь месяц назад было 146! Но папа сказал, что если я не похудею, то со мной девочки встречаться не будут. А вообще-то я предпочитаю мальчиков, ведь с девочками встречаться - это так старомодно. Потом я позавтракал. Завтрак у меня получился диетическим - овсяные хлопья с обезжиренным молоком и два обжаренных тоста с джемом. В качестве легкого десерта я съел 4 двойных гамбургера.
За завтраком было весело. Мы с отцом соревновались, кто громче пукнет. Громче получилось у меня. Отец теперь должен мне 5 баксов. Если к вечеру не отдаст - засужу.
Моя школа находится далеко от дома - в 500 метрах. Хорошо, что у меня есть машина. Поэтому добрался всего за час, в пробках сегодня пришлось стоять совсем недолго. Уроки были скучными. Например, на истории учитель нес какую-то чушь о том, что Америку открыл Колумб. Как таких в учителя берут!? Ведь элементарная логика говорит о том, что Америку открыли мы, американцы. Потому-то она и называется Америка.
Интереснее было на географии. Как много интересного в мире происходит! Например, учитель рассказал, что есть такая страна как Африка. В ее столице - Египте - находятся треугольные небоскребы, в которых обитают злые русские мумии. И почему эти русские нам нигде покоя не дают?..
Вечером я пошел на вечеринку к Лесли. Нас было человек 40. Мой друг Джим стащил у отца 2 бутылки пива. Мы так все перепились, что заблевали бассейн.

7 апреля.

Сегодня выходной. Хотелось подольше поспать, но отец заставил меня играть в бейсбол на лужайке перед домом. Сначала было скучно, но потом я втянулся. Ведь это так увлекательно - три часа подряд бросать друг другу мячик с расстояния в 3 метра. Замечательный вид спорта и очень интеллектуальный!
После обеда отец заставил меня смотреть по ТВ обращение президента Буша. Мы классно провели время: ели поп-корн и слушали президента. Он говорил о том, как важно для Америки всех бомбить, потому что иначе все эти примитивные народы не понимают, какое счастье несет им наша страна. Мне всегда было непонятно, почему эти дураки возмущаются, когда мы их бомбим. Ведь без этого они никогда не узнают вкус кока-колы и гамбургера, а, значит, не построят демократии. Боже, храни Америку - страну, готовую осчастливить любого. А если кто-то не хочет быть счастливым - мы его всегда можем заставить. После просмотра обращения Буша мы всей семьей долго пели американский гимн и плакали от осознания своего величия и понимания божественной миссии, которая нам доверена Господом.
За ужином мы с отцом опять устроили соревнования на самый громкий пук. Победила наша собака. Она это сделала так громко, что испуганные соседи с криками "Русские идут!" спрятались в подвале. Выманивать их пришлось до самой ночи. Пока я наконец не сообразил им сказать, что завтра в ближайшем супермаркете будет распродажа, и они смогут купить электрические поповытиралки на 10 центов дешевле обычной цены. Сразу же выскочили…
Все, я решил - обязательно стану географом. Хочу так же, как и они, изучать эту прекрасную науку - геометрию. Сегодня наш учитель провел замечательное занятие! Он рассказывал о далекой стране под названием Россия. Я и раньше много знал об этом диком государстве. Например, всем хорошо известно, что русские - это помесь медведя с человеком, которые питаются спиртом и березами, живут в тайге в глубоких норах, а по праздникам поджигают Кремль и водят вокруг него хороводы.
После рассказа учителя я знаю о России, наверное, больше самих ее жителей. Например, в этой стране находятся американские резервы нефти и газа. Когда они нам понадобятся, мы за ними приедем. Кроме того, в России есть месторождения черной и красной икры, а также залежи водки и блинов. Эти богатства русские тратят по варварски: съедают и выпивают, обделяя будущие поколения американцев. Настоящая империя зла!
После школы я пошел к психоаналитику. Я посещаю его дважды в неделю. Он мне дает советы и учит, как жить. Сегодня он научил меня смывать за собой в уборной. А я-то думал, почему у нас в туалете всегда так воняет. Надо рассказать своим - семья еще не знает…
Вечером играл в тетрис. Убойный экшн! На третьем уровне меня срезали… Потом полазил по
порносайтам www. pentagon.com и www. whitehouse.org. Вставляет не по-детски+
Удовлетворенный проведенным днем и своей правой рукой, лег спать…


24 апреля.

Сегодня на математике учились считать до десяти. Тяжелая эта наука. Теперь понятно, почему ее у нас начинают изучать только в старших классах. Я дошел до 7. Учитель меня похвалил. Я его тоже.
Потом была физкультура. Пока мои приятели подглядывали в душе за девчонками, я
подглядывал за физруком. Так увлекся, что не заметил, как все уже помылись и стали
подглядывать за мной.
На большой перемене Боб принес отцовский пистолет и начал стрелять по девчонкам. Вот была потеха! Девчонки визжали, пытались убегать, но Боб их догонял и добивал контрольным выстрелом в голову. Потом приехала полиция, и Боба почему-то забрали. А ведь он просто развлекался+ Нас сразу же отпустили по домам.

8 мая.

Сегодня был необычный урок истории. Учитель рассказал нам, как ровно 28 лет назад
американские войска взяли Берлин и победили Германию. Оказывается, в 1958-м году
кровавый диктатор Садам Хусейн, который в то время руководил Германией, напал на Лондон и бомбил его столицу Варшаву. Немцы на танках и велосипедах захватили Париж, Брюссель, Киев и Биробиджан. После захвата Биробиджана у Соединенных Штатов кончилось терпение, и они вступили в войну. Сначала немцев бомбили в Афганистане, затем в Сирии, затем в Диснейленде. Немцы стали отступать. Потом американские войска окружили Германию и точечными ударами разрушили весь Берлин, водрузив звездно-полосатый флаг над Эйфелевой башней. Саддама Хусейна выловили в берлинском пригороде, где он прятался в подвале супермаркета. Кровавого диктатора судили и отправили на каторгу на остров Святой Елены. А
все народы мира в едином порыве аплодировали храбрым солдатам армии США и бросали в них цветы, фрукты и овощи. Вот так и закончилась вторая мировая война ,после которой всем кровавым диктаторам стало ясно: от демократии еще никто живым не убегал…

11 мая.

Сегодня после школы нас водили на экскурсию в картинную галерею. Нашли чем удивить: мазня какая-то, бабы голые. Я в Интернете и лучше видел. Джим прикололся и прилепил жвачку к какой-то картинке на стене. А Лесли отломал палец у скульптуры.
Когда наш автобус уже отъезжал, в галерее началась паника. Какая-то старая баба бегала и кричала: "Она же стоит полтора миллиона долларов!". Мы с Джимом и Лесли подмигнули друг другу, ведь это был наш вклад в мировую культуру. Мы поступили как настоящие американцы.
Вечером с отцом ходили на хоккей. Начался первый период, и мне прямо в лоб прилетела шайба. Очнулся в больнице. Доктора удивленно качали головой: ну надо же, даже сотрясения мозга нет.

News.Udaff.Com :: Найдено в Тырнете :: Караван - Невниг пендосскава потсана

http://news.udaff.com/index.php?cat=links&news=1272 12/20/2007__

American National Narrative

(* this is just a test - I never used google blogger before and was curious how it works. Of course, I needed to post something to look at and enjoy quietly :) The next, most likely will be my free-hand translation of A Diary Of American Boy *)

An interesting piece of writing by Raimondo here

http://www.antiwar.com/justin/?articleid=13584

Well, the article is a rather depressing reading – in particular, when one looks which nation (=Ukraine) was selected for a new proxy war of America with the hated evil Russikies this time… And things may indeed get dangerously hot unless the US via NATO stops pushing yet for another conflict with the Russians.

Want a bit of “poetry” on the subject? I did not put references to various “spheres of economic interests” and the apparently totally acceptable means of defending or establishing them and so on – we all know about it. And please note – I do respect most people from the US whom I met – each one individually. I can see a lot of common between American and Russian attitudes, though usually far more than Americans can or want to see. Nevertheless, it was almost always easy to talk to Americans and the conversations were usually enjoyable – as long as I avoided questioning the “rightness” of the US “democracy”. But then neither can I easily tolerate foreigners criticizing Russia or Soviet Union – because they cannot really know what one is or what another had been. Russia is not the US. Not everything there can be bought or sold. And with the US, I am worried deeply not about their personal views, but about their group mentality – as it is seen from outside. With their real “national narrative” as it is presented to the world.

I was reading that Raimondo’s blog, but was thinking (again) – why? Why the US does all this to other nations? What the Americans are “thinking” on the national level? How do they feel? It is a democracy over there, right? Which means that (at least) for several decades their leaders represent the thinking of an average American - more or less, but they do represent. Worries and desires of an average American citizen…. As in eg. McCain’s speech(-es) – a bit about democracy and a lot about oil, which vicious Russians want to deprive the innocent Americans of…Who but an American would believe that there was so much oil or gas going through that pipe in Georgia – or that there *can* be so much in the whole world - that it is worth a potentially nuclear war with the Russians? Yes, an electoral campaign, a ”silly season”. Sure. But these speeches are *designed* to appeal to an average American and, probably, they do appeal…

What was that again about the American national narrative – a “quest for democracy”, wasn’t it? Right.

Is it really that in the eyes of “democracy-loving” Americans, yet another layer of butter on their bread is worth all the conflicts they create, thousands of dead, and the nations which lived together for hundreds of years now almost or indeed at war with each other? Do Americans starve? Do they really need the access to *all* of the world’s resources so much that they do not care about killing or destroying the whole nations? What is that “democracy” which is worth the life of even a single child killed – with child’s blood on American hands? Sorry, this child was not from American culture.

Or is it just that the American “exceptionalism” in reality is of the same sort as the one in a well-known European country of 1939? So that the Americans need only the “right” leader. Or maybe they already have the “right” one?

A great nation?.. Yes, not the first one in human history to claim the title. Even not the first one to try its greatness on Russians. But I am really concerned that it might become the last one – in the history of civilized world as it was…